What If Men Were Shoes…?


What If Men Were Shoes

Eskimos have (at least) 24 different words for snow. We have as many words for women’s shoes! Athletic shoes, casual shoes, sandals, high heels, pumps, dress shoes, dance shoes, loafers, slippers, boots, sneakers, platform shoes, crocs. Are we that passionate about shoes?

I don’t know about you, but I can’t even count all the Saturday mornings I’ve spent trying to find shoes that cater to me perfectly. Last Saturday alone, I spent about 6 hours waltzing in and out of every shop in the mall, trying on hundreds of different pairs of shoes trying to find the right one for me. All I wanted is a pair of shoes that fit me, with the right quality and style, that doesn’t cost much… all I want is to find the shoes that are designed just for lil’ old me! Am I asking for too much…?

The very same night, I was hanging out with my -also single- girlfriends in a bar. It was one more night we spent drinking and talking while hoping to meet the perfect man. I’ve played this scene in my mind about a million times; the door suddenly opens, and the most handsome guy that just happens to be the One, walks to me, smiling, and buys me a drink.

While I was walking home alone later I couldn’t stop thinking: “Men are much like shoes.”

In fact, we pick shoes the same way we “pick” men. I mean, if there is an appropriate shoe for any case, so is the man for any phase of our lives. And if we try to categorize men based on the different categories of shoes, this is pretty much what we‘ll get:

The Athletic shoe:

This is an easy-going man; you’ll probably stick with him for a while. Usually in good shape with a well-built body. He comes up every day with new suggestions about all the different things you can do together, so he’ll make you look and feel active. You will be willing to follow him on walks in the park, weekend trips to the countryside and to cozy cafes for breakfast – sometimes you’ll be ashamed to go to more glamorous places with him; because this kind of man usually lacks the elegancy and he definitely doesn’t have the needed eccentric style.

You can meet this man almost anywhere.

The Sandal:

This is your summer love. This guy is a catch, so you’d better look gorgeous in order to get his attention. He looks exotic, so it’s love at first sight. He is the romantic type, so be prepared for numerous surprises. He has all the time in the world and he spends it on you. Even if every day with him seems like a new adventure, you’ll be bored surprisingly fast. Your “relationship” doesn’t last any longer than the two weeks of vacation, and you forget all about him as soon as you return to your everyday routine.

You can meet this guy at beach bars, hotel pools, and tourist traps during summer.

The High Heel:

This man has a sex appeal you can’t resist. The first time you meet him, you are so impressed by his looks that you have to force yourself to stop staring at him. You love to show him off and you try to take him to as many clubs and galas as you can. However, you usually avoid getting into a commitment with this guy, since besides his good looks, he really has nothing else to offer. You sense that you don’t really match and you never feel like yourself when you go out together. So, you just go out once a week and you usually call a friend to join you. You may let him bring you to your door, but you never invite him in. Much like high heel shoes, you feel relieved every time you take him off.

You can meet him in fabulous parties, night clubs and fashion shows.

The Slipper:

This man is more of a friend than a flirt. You usually have known this guy forever; perhaps you were best friends in high school – you never thought that he could be your boyfriend, maybe because he is not handsome enough or “cool” enough. But this guy is always there for you. He runs to your place every time you call him crying and spends the night with you when you are not feeling well. He is always willing to help you face your problems, he takes care of you and he wants the best for you. He has probably been secretly in love with you for ever. As soon as you realize it, and as soon as you overcome the blankness and the second thoughts about being with him, you can experience one of the best lifetime relationships. Although, if you break up, be careful of how to handle it. You don’t want to lose a good friend, right?

To find this man, just look around you.

The Casual Boot:

This man is the perfect choice for a long-lasting relationship. He has pretty much all the qualities of the other types of men: good looking, brings you flowers every so often, you share some good laughs together and you feel nice being with him; plus, he doesn’t have all their negatives. He has an alternative style that is similar to yours and everybody seems to like him. This guy will be there for you in your difficult times and he’ll never let you down. Try to keep him as long as possible.

It’s possible to find this guy in the places you normally hang out.

The Croc:

You have to be damn unlucky to fall for this man. He might be funny, but he’s knee-deep in bad taste. He is the opposite of the good looking type, and you don’t really match. You don’t want your friends to find out that you are dating him, and as soon as you break up (that it will happen soon enough) the only thing you keep wondering about is how the hell you went out with him. As I say for Crocs: you can try them on, you can look at their commercials, but don’t you buy them!

Well, I won’t tell you where to find this man!

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Comments (24)

  1. Cherry Monday - 24 / 12 / 2007 Reply
    I want the casual boot!!
  2. Cheerleader Saturday - 22 / 03 / 2008 Reply
    Cowboy boots :D
  3. Limo Hire Wednesday - 28 / 05 / 2008 Reply
    Me too.
  4. Limo Hire London Monday - 16 / 06 / 2008 Reply
    Coyboy boots for me too! lol!
  5. limo hire Monday - 23 / 06 / 2008 Reply
    the high heel is for me. you just cannot beat them
  6. Designer Clothing Friday - 05 / 09 / 2008 Reply
    I added your blog to my favorites! I love what you write about!
  7. Limo Hire Derby Saturday - 06 / 09 / 2008 Reply
    men do were shoes which ones depends on your taste.
  8. Limo Hire Nottingham Friday - 31 / 10 / 2008 Reply
    what would we do without shoes..
  9. Limo Hire Birmingham Friday - 31 / 10 / 2008 Reply
    women are crazy about shoes and know men are going the same way..
  10. Limo Hire Leicester Friday - 31 / 10 / 2008 Reply
    i like cowboy boots, they are the best..
  11. Birmingham Limo Hire Wednesday - 15 / 07 / 2009 Reply
    We all love shoes.
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  14. arise work at home Wednesday - 16 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    Hey, thanks...I've been waiting for something like that. Fantastic! That's really interesting. Well done!
  15. Gianna Patterson Monday - 21 / 06 / 2010 Reply
    i love the feel of leather dance shoes compared to synthetic fabrics.:*"
  16. Jocelyn Peterson Monday - 30 / 08 / 2010 Reply
    my dance shoes got broken a month ago and i need it replaced";;
  17. Jonathon Massay Wednesday - 01 / 09 / 2010 Reply
    Thanks for this! It's great to see that someone is using proper grammar.
  18. Metal Cabinets : Friday - 22 / 10 / 2010 Reply
    my dance shoes are sort of made of transparent material resembling glass, this is a very tough shoe anyway'*:
  19. Stephe Tuesday - 09 / 11 / 2010 Reply
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