Do you recall your first encounter? Do you remember the love and passion in the early days of your relationship? Do you remember how much you wanted to marry the love of your life?
So, how can we explain that the majority of married couples that visit marriage counselors complaining about the lack of passion in their relationship?
Sex is the cornerstone of your relationship. So, don’t underestimate it. If you are wondering how you can keep all the passion in your marriage, improve the way you have sex with your spouse. Try to avoid all the unforgivable mistakes married couples do during sex:
Married couples live together and have the option to make love any time. They are also familiar with each other’s body, so there is no mystery about sex; on the contrary, sex becomes an automated procedure where kissing and foreplay have no place. Big mistake!
What you should do: Bring kissing back into the game! Kissing is the ideal way to relight the fire in your marriage. It’s the path that leads to desire, to spontaneity and connection with your spouse. The lips are very sensitive – the longer you kiss (before as well as during sex) the more aroused you will feel.
Maybe you have found a couple of sex positions that are easy to do, plus they make you feel nice and comfortable – but doing the same positions tends to be a bit boring, don’t you think?
What you should do: Try some new sex positions. Discuss with your friends; let them tell you if they have discovereda weird sex position with their lovers that drives them crazy. Research sex positions in the internet, read as many books as you can find on that subject. Copy the Kama Sutra! Add some spice to your sex life!
And by surprises I mean new sexy underwear, a sex game maybe, or a call for sex in the middle of the day or on the kitchen table. Well, most married women feel embarrassed to wear tiny red underwear for their husband. And no, it’s not too spooky to have sex in the afternoon (as long as no one is in your house!)
What you should do: Act like a couple that just met or like you are on your honeymoon again. Do not just have sex in your bedroom, late at night, every Monday and Thursday. Try to make love in other rooms and places, like the bathtub or on the kitchen table. Don’t even hesitate to leave your house for a “countryside adventure”. Talk about buying some sex games and toys; decide together how much money you’d like to spend to refresh your sex life. Then, go out there to buy all the needed equipment.
She is not much of a talker. So, how can you be sure that she is pleased? You never asked her before if she likes all the things you are doing but don’t keep making the same mistake. It’s never too late to find out what she likes the most.
What you should do: You can ask her with a double question: For example: which sex position do you prefer? Me on top, or you on top?”
Or perhaps you talk all the time! Well, some dirty talk always makes a difference but do not overdo it. What’s more, try to avoid giving commands during sex like “don’t do that!” “Do that!” and so on. You might make your spouse feel pressured and nervous.
What you should do: just remember that sometimes actions are better than words (especially when it comes to sex). Instead of talking, lead your husband’s hand where you’d like it to be or whisper in your wife’s ear what you would like her to do.
But you still said “yes” when your husband asked you to follow him to the bed. This way no one would be pleased. You will never get rid of all the different things spinning in your mind, and he will understand you are not there. Total failure.
What you should do: When it comes to sex, men usually can get rid of stress and anything that bothers them but it’s not as easy for a woman. If you are not in the mood to make love, just say it. The person that shares his life with you won’t take it the wrong way. Another thing you can do is to ask him to prepare the appropriate atmosphere that will get you in the mood to have sex. You can ask him to give you a relaxing massage or decorate your bedroom with candles and roses.
Tip: Do not make love in the absolute dark. That way you show your spouse that no matter how many years you are together you still don’t feel 100% comfortable. Remember: he knows your body; she won’t notice the few extra pounds you’ve added. Plus, when you close the lights you are missing the best part: seeing your lover aroused… if your bedroom light is too bright, you can light some candles as you are waiting for your spouse.
So, are you still wondering were all your passion has gone? Just try to bring it back by avoiding the mistakes above. Sex in marriage is not a duty; it is a pleasure and it should remain a pleasure for a long time. A passionate marriage is a good marriage; and a passionate marriage is an achievable goal as long as you improve your sex life.