Relationships
Have you just inherited a huge legacy, and have to be single to get it? Has your girlfriend become a pain in the ass and want to get rid of her? Whatever the reason, there comes a time in your life that you want to break up with your significant other. And I know it’s too hard to tell her your relationship has ended (after all, who of us can stand women crying?), the best thing you can do is make her lose interest, so she’ll break up with you.
It is a pretty difficult task to make a woman lose interest. Many men have tried to accomplish it, but every time they tried to do something wrong, the result was the same… failure! The more you try, the more love she shows. Any combination of the tips bellow will do the work.
1. The magic word YES: Always say yes to whatever she asks – sooner or later, she will get sick of you!
2. Bathtubs are off limits: Forget to shampoo for a while! At first, she will tell you she likes it, and you smell like a real man – after sometime she will beg you to take a bath. Don’t yield to it! Don’t DO IT! Of course this is a hard thing to do, because the people around you won’t stand your smell.
3. Start playing an online role playing game (rpg). Well, you will be in your house for three months with no more common interests… at the beginning she will find it cool, but after a week or so she will start asking you to go out and stuff, but you will never accept her requests. After a month she will get sick of you – all this time, still say yes to whatever she asks – just never do it.
4. Try not to have sex for a week or two – and when you are about to, tell her after three seconds that you’re done. Also, tell her that it was great, and then ask her if you were good! Then tell her that you should do that every two weeks – “My God, it was So Great!”
5. Call your friends every time her favorite soap opera’s on: Buy some beers and start yelling about football, NBA, soccer and all kind of sports. After that, turn on the TV, and look for sports channels. If there’s nothing on, you can always put on a DVD.
6. Eat like a pig: 2 B’s: Beans and Brussels sprouts! After lunch, fart as much as you can – she will never get used to it. Let’s hope that it will be smelly enough.
7. You may start telling her about your old girlfriends and what big boobs they had, plus what great sex you used to have. Tell her that she is not that good in bed and after the screams you will hear, tell her that she is an egoist.
8. Start telling her that all her clothes suck and she has become so fat: “Hey honey you look like a balloon! No wonder why you float on water!”
9. Tell her that she is useless; make her believe that you think the only thing she can do is to have 6 children and feed them some milk.
10. Look at her best friend’s chest all the time. After you two stay alone, tell her that you find her friend very sexy, and if you weren’t with her, you could be with her best friend for ever.
11. Tell her that it’s too boring to have a conversation with her. After that, call your best friends and talk about some sports again. You may burp as loud as you can! (Because of the great consumption of beer, of course!)
12. When you are out, ask a girl with red lipstick to give you a nice kiss on the cheek. It will work.
13. Buy women’s perfume she doesn’t have. While you are returning from work spray some on you and tell her what a nice girl your new secretary is.
14. Each time you have to meet, let her wait for a half hour, and then call her and tell her that you can’t go.
15. Never spend money on anything! Each time you go at a bar or a restaurant, tell her that you forgot your wallet and let her pay.
16. When she asks for sex, tell her that you are tired, leave the bedroom and go watch some porn.
17. Buy the ugliest clothes you can find! Make sure to wear them day and night no matter where you going.
18. Tell her the worst joke you’ve heard, several times a day. After you are done, laugh as much as you can and then call her pathetic because only a miserable person can’t laugh with a joke like that.
19. Go home, look happy and tell her that you found two tickets for Hawaii. After she gets extremely happy, tell her that you will go with your best friend.
20. Change the locks to your house without telling her anything, and don’t give her a new key.
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