Top 10 Relationship Killers

top 10 relationship killersLet’s face it; all relationships can have their bad patches. Stressful jobs, unbalanced routines, lack of energy or passion… so many things can leave a damper on your relationship, it’s important to try and avoid them.

So, what are some common relationship killers? Well, each couple has its own special tension points, but below are some of the biggest relationship killers to avoid.

1. Money Issues

These are tough times and money worries are on everyone’s mind. So try not to stress too much about money, it can really spoil your mood. As it is, the recent credit crunch has already affected many males, causing them to have lower sexual self-esteem!

You don’t want to wind your partner up because of expenses, bills and financial worries. Money can’t buy you love, anyway! On the other hand, you don’t want to go around shopping and spending with no regard to your partner’s feelings (and bank account!) I’m just saying, don’t let your finances get in the way of your happiness. Be considerate, discuss your financial situation and work on a solution together.

2. Disrespect (verbal or physical)

This often happens in one-sided relationships or when one person feels unhappy about something. To many, love is a power struggle and some people love having control. However, when things don’t turn out the way they want, they throw tantrums, pick fights, say awful things they don’t mean and generally treat their partner with disrespect.

Both partners are and should be equal in a relationship, so make sure you aren’t overbearing, overly judgmental or disregarding of your partner and their opinions and emotions. A bad temper only makes things worse.

NOTE: If you feel your partner can’t contain their anger and they take it out on you, either physically or verbally, make sure you talk to someone about it. Get in touch with a hotline. Abuse should NOT be tolerated!

3. Lack of communication

This one is as old as “Women are from Venus and men are from Mars”. The reason is because communication is one of the things that’s the most different between men and women. Men talk very little, hardly express their emotions and thoughts and generally don’t open up as much as women do. Women, on the other hand, are used to analyzing and discussing everything, find it easy to express their feelings (in fact, they enjoy it) and generally encourage heart-to-heart talks.

So, be honest and discuss your feelings, problems, worries and thoughts. Neither men nor women can read minds, so speak up and share your emotions. Women, don’t impose every single thought on your man, or demand you know every single one of theirs. And men, don’t think women will question your manliness just because you spoke about your emotions. In fact, open communication will bring you closer!

4. Jealousy

This is a serious issue for many people. It’s right up there with infidelity. In fact, some people let jealousy take over their lives so much that they will convict their partner of cheating, even if absolutely nothing happened!

No one likes to feel wrongly accused of something they haven’t done, but when jealousy sets in, it can be impossible to convince your green-eyed partner of the truth.

The best way to avoid jealousy is to always be honest with each other, even if you did do something bad, we all make mistakes. But if you lie once and your partner finds out, then it will be hard for them to trust you again, often leading to excess jealousy.

5. Alcohol

Heavy alcohol consumption can be a real problem. Sometimes a few drinks together can heighten your sexual mood and get you hot and heavy under the covers. But too much drinking will only lead to erectile dysfunctions, or even worse, passing out on the couch before you even get to second base!

But drinking doesn’t only lead to intimacy problems, it could also lead to violent behavior. Alcoholism is responsible for more than 50% of domestic abuse, so if you or your partner has a drinking problem, get help! Like we said, verbal or physical abuse should NOT be tolerated!

6. In-laws / Family

There’s a reason why there are so many jokes about “the wicked in-laws”. There’s a book written by Douglas Coupland called All Families Are Psychotic, and it’s true! Every family has its own way of communicating and interacting, its own funny rules and weird habits- it’s what makes each family special. However, these family antics won’t always be the same as your partner’s; in fact you could come from two totally different backgrounds.

That’s why spending too much time with family members (whether they are your own or your in-laws) can sometimes lead to small disagreements and fights between couples. We can’t always expect our partner to agree with or even like our family. Agreeing to disagree can work sometimes, but at the end of the day, family is family. If they love you and they know you love them, then they’ll respect both you and your family.

7. Bad physical or hygienic condition

Alongside having a stressful routine, another thing that can slowly kill your relationship’s passion is being lazy. No one can beat time, but you don’t want to look frumpy and sagging before your time. So make an effort to look and feel good! Start a work out class, go jogging (together), get physical and feel your energy and positivity levels start to rise.

Sure, it’s comfortable to be able to hang around your partner every once in a while in your pajamas, with messy hair, teeth not brushed and dirty underwear. It means your partner loves you. However, that doesn’t mean that cleanliness and hygiene should fly out the window completely. An attractive, well groomed lover is way more enticing than a smelly, lazy couch potato!

8. Infidelity

This is the largest no-no in the book! Once you cheat on your partner, there will almost always be trust issues to deal with later. Plus, in the long run you’ll realize it wasn’t worth it!

No one likes to feel second best and infidelity can lead to other troubles, like a period of suspicion, fights and punishment. Now you tainted your image, you have to make up for it!  Infidelity will also make your partner resent you. It could even lead to a final break up.

So, avoid tempting situations and whenever you feel you need some bedroom action, go back home to your partner- that’s why you’re together anyway, remember? To fulfill each other’s emotional and physical needs!

9. No Sex

The killer of all killers! If cheating is like a bullet to the heart, then having no sex life is like slow torture. Day-to-day life and your daily mood affects your sex-life and vice-versa. And the most powerful sexual organ we have is our brain, so it’s important to remember that a low sex drive is mostly psychological.

Having healthy, fun, intimate sexual experiences with your partner is a major condition to having a happy relationship. Get out of your rigid routine, go on trips, share new experiences and try different things together, explore your sexual horizons and experiment. Make your relationship fun again and rediscover the reasons you fell in love with each other in the first place.

Don’t let your daily routine get in the way; make time for each other. Surprise each other, buy sexy new underwear, and try out new positions, sex toys, role playing and so much more. Don’t let sex become another chore you have to do before you go to bed. Revive your libido and feel the same uncontrollable passion you used to feel with your partner in the first early days of your relationship!

10. Ex-partners

The almighty Ex. Let’s face it, ex-partners are part of life and we all have a past. Allowing your past relationships to interfere with your current one however, is risky business. We want to feel that our relationship is special, not have some ex shadow over us like a ghost from the past.

However open-minded and laid-back we may pretend to be, we all get moments when we feel threatened, inadequate or insufficient. And no one likes to be compared to other people, especially not someone who is supposed to belong in the past.

So, do any of these ring a bell? See if you can’t prevent sabotaging your relationship and make a new start today!

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