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Overcoming Long Distance Relationship Problems

overcoming long distance relationship problems

“Overcoming Long Distance Relationship Problems” is a part of the Long Distance Relationship Series.

Being in a long distance relationship may not seem like the easiest thing to do. Many people claim they rarely work out – I beg to differ. I believe that any kind of relationship can solve its issues, so long as the people involved love and trust each other and are committed and loyal.

Overcoming long distance relationship problems is easy, if you are both focused on finding solutions.

Distance is of course a major factor, and lack of contact can lead to unsettling situations. When we feel left out from someone’s life, we often let our anger and disappointment get the best of us and we let suspicion cloud our judgment. We can get caught up in our own doubt and confusion, only making things worse.

Unless you and your partner discuss your issues, they will boil beneath your skin and one day you’ll just explode. Not a pretty picture, especially when you aren’t even in the same room to discuss things. Resentment from either side won’t help either – you both need to accept your issues and agree to solve them together.

So, how can you diffuse a bad situation and stop heart-breaking fights over the phone? Here are a few things to remember before you assume your relationship is over.

Have you established trust?

Perhaps the most important thing a couple needs when in a LDR, is trust. When you can trust someone it means that they are considerate of your feelings, will be there for you at hard times and always tell you the truth. Being trustworthy is one of the most significant ways in which we show that we care.

If you worry that you can’t trust your partner, then you’re going to end up doing just that. The golden rule says to trust someone until they give you reason not to. If you have real reason and proof that your partner is untrustworthy then talk to them. Confront them and tell them how you feel. Don’t assume anything until you talk it over with a calm head.

Have you (re)defined your terms?

You can avoid a lot of long-term worry by defining exactly how you want your LDR to work. If you haven’t already talked about this in advance, there’s no better time than now. Establish some agreed-upon rules to guide you. Discuss communication needs and limits and agree to meet each other halfway.

We all go through changes and especially if you both live in different cities then you will both go through different things. If you feel something has changed, or that something isn’t working out as well as it used to, explain to your partner that you have redefined your expectations and want to find a way to figure things out.

Do you make time for each other?

You both lead different lives and have different schedules. That why it’s important to make time for each other. You are both going through different experiences and it may not always be easy to share this with one another. Make an effort to keep in touch as much as possible. Don’t make your phone calls short and boring – involve each other.

You may feel you lack the emotional involvement because you lack physical intimacy. If you don’t communicate to feel close to one another, one of you will start to feel unworthy and let down – and maybe even seek what you need some place else.  You need to show that you’re still crazy about each other. Reassure your partner and show that you’re still interested, passionate and caring. Don’t let them slip away just because you get forgetful and they feel taken for granted.

Are you planning for the future?

You won’t be in a long distance relationship all your life. At some point you will be together again, remember? It’ so easy to live in the past, dwelling on bad situations, forgetting about he future. However much you think of the past, remember you can’t change it. That’s why it’s important to focus on the future. Because you can change things for the better!

Make an effort to think positive and look into the future. Sure it’s nice to reminisce about the good old days with your partner, but it can also be a bit melancholy and could make you both feel lonely. You may want your partner to be committed, but remember your partner also looks to for support. So show that you’re optimistic about the future and that your relationship is still going strong.

Are you compassionate or paranoid?

Every relationship has its ups and downs and you won’t always be able to win every fight. You don’t have to either. Sometimes it’s best to back down and just keep the peace. If you know your partner is going through a rough time, don’t complain- be compassionate. We all have egos and we all have brains – the trick is to balance the two.

If you know your partner well, then you should know when it’s a good time to pick a fight and when not to. Remember, you can’t assume you know what is going on inside people’s heads; that’s why it’s considerate to ask. Letting paranoia take over and pestering your partner with aggressive verbal attacks over the phone, will only push them away even more. There is a time to talk and there is a time to listen.

Before you start thinking about breaking off your long distance relationship, think about what you can do to make it better. It always takes two to tango, so be honest with yourself and your partner.

Maybe the two of you are just going through a bad patch: don’t get discouraged or freaked out. Keep calm and carry on and be there for each other. If you continue to show your love and support, you’ll find overcoming long distance relationship problems isn’t as hard as you thought and you’ll realize that you can make it work and true love conquers all!

 
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