Do Self Help Books Really Help?
What would you think if you entered a new friend’s house and noticed that his bookcase was full of self help books?
Would you say, “good for you”, or would you drink the cup of coffee he offers you in a second so you could get out of there as soon as possible?
Personally I was never a fan of self help books; I thought that they were all the same. They are supposed to make us feel better, but when we face real problems, no amount of pep talks can motivate us. Of course, I hadn’t read a single self help book; only a few self help articles and some self-help book samples that made me smile a bit, but that was all. Apparently, I had underestimated the power of words.
A few years ago, I met a person who is now one of my best friends. When I first met him I was impressed by his character. I saw a funny, cool and charming person that made me feel comfortable from the first moment. So, when he asked me to go to his house for a cup of coffee I found no reason to say no to him. But when I entered his house, I couldn’t stop staring at his bookcase which was full of self help books. I started wondering if he was some kind of psycho, depressed, or he was reading these books to overcome the numerous psychological problems he had. But, the person I was looking at seemed more balanced and confident than anyone I knew. Was that related to the fact that he had read all these books? I wanted to find it out, so I asked him to lend me some of them.
After reading enough self help books, I can tell you one thing: they do work. Not only do they make you feel good, but they serve multiple purposes. First of all, they tell you things you already know but seem to forget. For instance, you know that you have to love yourself if you want other people to love you; but do you really love yourself? You have heard before that life is a journey; that you can create life as you want it to be. But, are you really doing so? Self help books motivate you to keep asking yourself these questions. And these are the questions that will bring up the answers you are looking for. The more you read, the more you figure out who you are, who you want to be and what is that you want to do. That’s why I call self help books a “life check-up.”
What’s more, you can find very important information in self help books. You will start wondering about things that had never interested you before simply because you had never thought about them. For example, how much do you know about body language? Do you know how to communicate properly with those you love so as they can understand your feelings? How much do you know about Tantra or meditation? Do you know that if breathing is performed in conscious awareness will help your health and your mentality? You will also find important tips that will help you achieve success and personal effectiveness and understand how to improve your health and wellness.
As you can understand, different self help books address different problems and therefore to different people. Finding the best one for you isn’t a difficult task.
(There is always the amateur way: picking up the book that has the prettiest cover. But this is not the right way)
Find your “weak point”. First of all you have to ask yourself: “which part of my life would I like to improve?” Finding your “weak point” is the first step. Would you like to improve your spirituality? Or perhaps would you like to reduce your stress? Finding your “weak point” is the first step. (If you think you don’t have any soft spots, look again. Confidence is a good thing, but no one’s perfect.)
Is the book appropriate? Since you know what is that you d like to change, look up your options. Find books that are focused on the real life issue you are addressing. Is its content relevant to the sector you’d like to improve? Is the whole book about the problem you are facing? Read its summary as well as reviews and comments that have been made about the book.
Is the author qualified and/or reliable? Try to find out if the author has professional training or previous experience. If you haven’t ever heard of him before, do some research. Look up his previous work. What other books has he published? Are there any articles about him? What do experts say about him? Does he have a personal webpage?
Ask your friends. Even if you don’t know it, some of your friends read self help books for sure. Possibly, there are people you know that have been motivated or have found some answers and truths inside those books. Ask them and find out if the book does work!
It’s true, self help books can help you evolve but they don’t do magic. So, keep in mind that you always have to be positive and optimistic; self help books will help you only if you want to help yourself!
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Very very nice article, Evi. Nowadays people spend only a few hours a month reading a book compared with hours and hours on the Internet and TV, including me. It’s a wakeup call for me. One of my new year resolution is to spend at least 10 hrs/week reading a good book.
I think if you walk away with one item out of any book or read, you have helped yourself.
I think they will help, if you’re open to them!
I’ve learned to love myself and not to be so judgmental. It’s hard because I noticed in every picture i would find the worst of it in 1 second and I would just focus on that losing sight of how beautiful the actual picture looks. Focusing on how ‘fat’ I looked or how I wasn’t smiling good enough. I’ve had it with that person. That person was never happy. Now because of this book I.M.Heart I’ve learned to love myself and just live each day in a happier mind set. Just in time too, wedding pictures are coming up, can’t be too judgmental with those now!
I have been an avid reader of self help and how to books for years, so this article by Evi was very refreshing and enlightening. Self help books motivated me to start my own business. http://www.completeidiotsbooks.com
Cool… thanks Evi. I was just going to start think negatively about self-help stuff and your blog just came in time. Thanks for this excellent. It just saved me from thinking negative about self-help stuff. Good Bless ya!
[...] don’t say that self help books don’t help – sometimes the power of words is greater than you think. I’ll admit that [...]
I personally believe that self help book really help, the most practical example is here i am writing this post. My self esteem was so low that i couldn’t be able to say or write of single world of English. But a self help book “You can win” was generated a power of self confidence in me that today i am able to interact well with this people in this language.
I discovered your blog on self help while looking for mine. I think your approach to self help is excellent and will put a link in my blog to encourage those who have read mine to read yours, as well.
The main point on which we differ is that precisely because self help books tell you what you already know, they tend to be an unnecessary expense that doesn’t add much to the journey. And the further tendency is to buy ALL of them, which adds to the confusion of trying to figure out what to do.
If and ONLY if a person is ready to improve, they need only follow a few basic principles (actively), and the results will be much more effective than reading about it (passively). As someone has said, self help isn’t rocket science.
- Graham
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informative post. I hope you keep on writing such interesting articles
Is it just me, my browser or the site? The page doesn’t load fully, and I already refreshed the page
Fantastic information in your post, I saw a report on television the other day about this same thing and since I am getting married in two weeks and the timing couldn’t have been better! thanks for the ideas!, I have bookmarked, thanks John Demma
Author:
Yes, i agree that self-help books are positive and can be transformative. I have been a voracious reader for most of my life and have written a diverse and expressive book on self-improvement. Words have power and speak to the heart!
Linda
I think words have the power to communicate to you, to make the changes happen. If it makes enough sense to you in a way you can connect with.
Theres book thats new that promotes self help in a way which people might understand.
Its a new and interesting book. Though it has valuable information.
It talks about the mysteries and Magic of life, and promotes self awareness which is assessible to people.
It helps people by pointing them to awareness of somethings they aren’t usually aware of. These are the neglected things that can help them bring about change, and kick their engines starting. Its definitely a must.
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/BookOfSpells.html
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Great stuff, I’ve been looking for this for ages, I’ve saved to my favourites. Thank You.
Amazing introduction for newbies like me! Bookedmarked your site for your next article.
I dont normally post comments on blogs, but I really enjoy your post!