
What would you think if you entered a new friend’s house and noticed that his bookcase was full of self-help books?
Would you say, “good for you”, or would you drink the cup of coffee he offers you in a second so you could get out of there as soon as possible?
Personally I was never a fan of self-help books; I thought that they were all the same. They are supposed to make us feel better, but when we face real problems, no amount of pep talks can motivate us. Of course, I hadn’t read a single self-help book; only a few self help articles and some self-help book samples that made me smile a bit, but that was all. Apparently, I had underestimated the power of words.
A few years ago, I met a person who is now one of my best friends. When I first met him I was impressed by his character. I saw a funny, cool and charming person that made me feel comfortable from the first moment. So, when he asked me to go to his house for a cup of coffee I found no reason to say no to him. But when I entered his house, I couldn’t stop staring at his bookcase which was full of self-help books. I started wondering if he was some kind of psychopath, depressed, or he was reading these books to overcome the numerous psychological problems he had. But, the person I was looking at seemed more balanced and confident than anyone I knew. Was that related to the fact that he had read all these books? I wanted to find it out, so I asked him to lend me some of them.
After reading enough self help books, I can tell you one thing: they do work. Not only do they make you feel good, but they serve multiple purposes. First of all, they tell you things you already know but seem to forget. For instance, you know that you have to love yourself if you want other people to love you; but do you really love yourself? You have heard before that life is a journey; that you can create life as you want it to be. But, are you really doing so? Self-help books motivate you to keep asking yourself these questions. And these are the questions that will bring up the answers you are looking for. The more you read, the more you figure out who you are, who you want to be and what is that you want to do. That’s why I call self-help books a “life check-up.”
What’s more, you can find very important information in self-help books. You will start wondering about things that had never interested you before, simply because you had never thought about them. For example, how much do you know about body language? Do you know how to communicate properly with the people you love so they can understand your feelings? How much do you know about Tantra or meditation? Do you know that if breathing is performed in conscious awareness, it will help your health and your mentality? You will also find important tips that will help you achieve success and personal effectiveness and understand how to improve your health and wellness.
As you can understand, different self-help books address different problems and different people. Finding the best one for you isn’t a difficult task.
(There is always the amateur way: picking up the book that has the prettiest cover. But this is not the right way).
Find your “weak point”. First of all you have to ask yourself: “which part of my life would I like to improve?” Finding your “weak point” is the first step. Would you like to improve your spirituality? Or perhaps would you like to reduce your stress? Finding your “weak point” is the first step. (If you think you don’t have any soft spots, look again. Confidence is a good thing, but no one’s perfect.)
Is the book appropriate? Since you know what is that you’d like to change, look up your options. Find books that are focused on the real life issue you are addressing. Is its content relevant to the sector you’d like to improve? Is the whole book about the problem you are facing? Read its summary as well as reviews and comments that have been made about the book.
Is the author qualified and/or reliable? Try to find out if the author has professional training or previous experience. If you’ve never heard of him before, do some research. Look up his previous work. What other books has he published? Are there any articles about him? What do experts say about him? Does he have a personal webpage?
Ask your friends. Even if you don’t know it, some of your friends read self-help books for sure. Possibly, there are people you know that have been motivated or have found some answers and truths inside those books. Ask them and find out if the book does work!
It’s true, self help books can help you evolve but they don’t work wonders. So, keep in mind that you always have to be positive and optimistic; self-help books will help you only if you want to help yourself!
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