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Difficult Decision

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by Asdfing Team  |  on January 7th, 2008  |  6 comments

Difficult Decision

Today we received a letter from Maria that wanted to share with Asdfing, her personal story. After we read it, we realized that she faces a common relationship problem. Let’s try to help her solve this problem.

About a year ago now I started dating someone and while we were dating he committed more to the relationship than I did.He was more in love with me than
I was with him.But after six months he decided to end it.This tore my heart up.I never really knew how much I loved him.But he replaced me with another girl and this killed me even more,he used to say sweet things to win me back but then the next day dump me.He recently admitted to me that he saw other girls that I didn’t know about.But after crying over him for weeks I decided I couldn’t care but he thought other wise.We waited but then he went out with one of his
friends.He decided to tell me over the internet.At this point I was over him but then he started to beg for me back and dumped his friend for me.

Now I’ve admitted to liking another guy but not as much.I think the only reason I did this was to get back at him.But now I am not even sure if I am over him or
not and I’ve even got to decide if I like the other guy.I’ve realised that he likes to do the running and therefore gives more attention.The second guy has
said to me that he loves me but I don’t fall in love at the right time,usually after they’ve dumped me.So if I did go out with him I would still like the 1st
guy more and would mess up this relationship,or i have to go with the 1st guy who I like more but act as if I don’t and has used me so many times that I’ve got
sick of it but makes the time we spend together happy and fun.

Any help on this?

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Comments (6)

  1. Sense and Sensibilit Monday - 07 / 01 / 2008 Reply
    Taking a man back because he apologises and wants you back when he has cheated on you multiple times is ridiculous. If he's done it before, and you took him back he obviously didn't learn the first time. What makes you think he'll be better this time around? People can change, but honey, sometimes, a skeeze is a skeeze. Just because he'll take you back and you still have feelings doesn't make it a good idea. There are waaay too many men out there to settle for one from the bottom of the barrel. I think you need to step back and look at th big picture. You've got the rest of your life to date. People nowadays don't marry til they're forty anyhow, waiting for a guy that won't sleep around on you isn't just better for your heart, honey, he could be getting STDs from his 'call girls'. You need to stay the hell away. I know it's hard, but the easiest way to do it is cold turkey. Make it your personal goal to not talk to him in any way for at least three months. Block his email, delete his number from your phone and him from your life.
    • kayla Monday - 27 / 12 / 2010 Reply
      i know how you fell my best friend did the same thing at least 4 or 5 times me and my other bestie told her to stay away and she kept going back i have the same problem
  2. Iris Monday - 07 / 01 / 2008 Reply
    Don't let your Ego to take decisions you have to take, try to think clearly! I know that you love him and it is hard to forget him, but believe me he is not your other half! My opinion is that you don't have to care that much about this person. He cheated on you and I don't think that he cares about you that much. I think that you love him much more than he does. If you love one person you don't tell her that you were with other girls, even after a break up! You just let it go. My advise is that you don't have to spend any more of your time to speak with him, he does not deserve it.
  3. Angie Nuit Monday - 07 / 01 / 2008 Reply
    Maria, there are more fish in the sea... This guy does not deserve to be with you any more. If I were you I would forget the "guys" for a while and I would try to do something for myself! Stop worrying about those peeps feel free for a while! Go shopping, buy some new clothes and feel confident, go to the gym, work out! Go clubbing or anywhere else at night, don't stay home and throw away anything that reminds of him; meet new people enjoy and smile! You will realize soon what a jerk he was and then you will be ready to move on! I know that it is not easy, but you need to do it! As I said before there are more fish in the sea, do you think that he is the appropriate guy for you? I don't think so! He is a cheater and I don't trust cheaters at all!
  4. Niovi Monday - 07 / 01 / 2008 Reply
    Dear Maria, i know how you feel. I've been there too. I know that you feel hurt and confused right now. In my opinion, you shouldn't be with either of them. I agree with Sense and sensibility's comment. You really need to avoid the first guy. If he treated you like that, it means he doesn't deserve to have you. Just think about it. Even if he'll take you back, will you like being in this relationship? Can you trust him? Do you really love him, or you just want him back because he dump you? Is there a possibility that all you want is to take revenge of him? Ask yourself those questions. As for the second guy, i don't think that he is your perfect half either. Your words create the impression that you don't really love him; that you are with him because you need to be with someone. you said that: "I think the only reason I did this was to get back at him." It looks like you dupe this guy. If you don't love him as much as he does, just let him go. All in all, you should stop wondering about those guys. You don't have to rely on anybody but yourself. Just live as single for a while. Spend time with yourself, hang out with your friends or find a new hobby. You'll get over the 1st guy, i promise. It's just a matter of time. Sooner or later you are gonna meet the perfect guy for you. In the meantime, try to enjoy your life!
  5. Maria Monday - 14 / 01 / 2008 Reply
    Thank you to everyone who has given me advice on this,it has really helped me a lot :) I've decided that im going to at least make an effort to get over him and make more time with my friends to take my mind off things. Thanks to everyone again :)

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