Relationships
“My boyfriend is insanely jealous.”
“My girlfriend tracks my every move.”
“My husband thinks I’m sleeping around with all his friends.”
“My fiancee thinks I’m interested in other girls.”
How many times have you heard all this, or said them yourself?
Here are ways to deal with and handle jealousy within your relationship.
- First and most obvious, talk about it. There’s no better way than to find out why your partner is jealous. It could be because they are so deeply in love with you, and not because they think you are doing anything wrong. You could be perfect in their eyes, and they just might be afraid they’ll lose you, just because you’re so perfect to them.
- For dealing with jealousy in new relationships, try to establish trust from the beginning. Don’t try to make them jealous to keep them with you – that’s a load of bull, and might work for a little while. But just think; would you want to base a serious relationship on silly tricks to keep them with you? It’s better if you start out with a clean slate, and tell them everything they want to know (or should know) about you and your past. You wouldn’t want anything to be dug up after a while; come clean from the beginning and everything will be so much easier!
- Once again, if a partner is jealous, it’s most likely not because of lack of trust in you, but because they’re insecure about their own worth. Pretty much all of us have issues with insecurities, so help out your partner with them. Reassure them that you’re with them for a reason, and that’s because you love them and want to be with them and no one else.
- If the problem really is a trust issue, try to find out why there has been a breach. Talk about the reasons they feel they need to be jealous – are they afraid you’re cheating on them? Are they afraid of your past, or lack thereof? Do they find your behavior promiscuous for some reason? Was it really something you did or are doing? This could become a very serious problem if you don’t settle it before it breaks you apart.
- Remember to try to reassure them in every way that you can, but don’t put aside your own privacy and rights. This article has lots about condescending and understanding, but you can’t forget to respect your own self. If you’re feeling misjudged, abused and/or wrongly accused, you shouldn’t let it go on. Make sure to stand up for yourself and your integrity if you’re being threatened for no reason.
- If the worst comes, like breakup or abuse, don’t blame yourself. Keep in mind that you’ve tried as much as you can, and that your relationship (and most likely your partner) is probably beyond salvation. It takes two to tango, and if your partner isn’t up for understanding that their actions are ruining your relationship, it’s not worth trying to help change their ways.
- Like before, if push comes to shove, maybe the jealous party should consider seeking the help of a professional counselor or specialist. It’s not shameful to ask for help from someone who can sort things out. It doesn’t have to be mental illness that causes jealousy, but it could be prior trauma or something your partner has been hiding in their subconscious for ever.
Just remember, it’s not an attack on you or your trust. Your jealous partner is not always blaming you or accusing you of any indiscretion – it mostly has to do with their own insecurities. Remember to be understanding and relieve these insecurities, and help them in every way possible!
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